Thursday, February 6, 2014

"I'm Not Aware Of Too Many Things, I Know What I Know, If You Know What I Mean"

By Kara Tucker

Just this morning, I posted my views on two days' worth of Piers Morgan and Janet Mock here.
One aspect mentioned in passing in that piece was the belief of others that Morgan is a great LGBT ally. That view seems to be expressed mostly by the LGB part of the acronym.
Today, America Blog editor John Aravosis, a long-time gay advocate, weighed in.
As you can see, just from the headline, Aravosis is not on the same page as a lot of folks with the T in LGBT.
The initial Morgan interview was not "amazingly pro-transgender."
It is not "amazingly pro-transgender" to put a graphic that says "was a boy until age 18" for entirely length of the entire interview.
It is not "amazingly pro-transgender" to ask a question about informing a partner of your trans history and basically framing it as part of a "you were a dude!" narrative.
It is not "amazingly pro-transgender" to tell a trans woman that she is so pretty that you can't tell she's trans. It's problematic. It would be problematic if someone interviewing Aravosis said, "Just talking to you, I'd never be able to know you're gay."
Aravosis has a checkered history when it comes to his views on trans issues, most notably when he threw the trans community under the bus on ENDA in 2007. But, that was over six years. People can learn, grow and evolve, perhaps educate themselves about the role trans women played at Stonewall.
But if he believes that the initial interview was "amazingly pro-transgender" or, as he puts it here...





...then he clearly has more to learn.
True, there's no denying that Morgan used words like "courageous" and "remarkable", but in context of a narrative that isn't as gushing as Aravosis claims.
The author also betrays a lack of understanding of how the situation unfolded, saying "But those comments earned Morgan a multi-day harangue online, and utter evisceration from trans-right advocates and Mock herself.
To call what Mock said "utter evisceration" is to have no clue as to what the term means. Mock was pointing out that the characterization and how the story was packaged was incorrect and incomplete.
Aravosis talks about what he suspects what trans people are thinking, but admits that he has no idea what Janet Mock was unhappy about.
He refers to another recent interview in which the host, Katie Couric, also had some problematic moments.
stepped in
In Aravosis' view, Couric was "attacked for doing a different interview with a trans woman that was, again, incredibly supportive."
Couric meant well, but she also fell into the trap of focusing too much on the genitals and surgery. To gloss it off such questioning as what "most people think about" when it comes to trans people is to be rather reductive to trans people's humanity.
It's one thing to have it be part of the story, but there's a point where one wants to say, "Okay, can we move on now?"
I'm sure Aravosis would be less than thrilled if an interviewer, no matter how "brave and remarkable" they called him, kept pressing him about his personal tastes, right down to his favorite positions, in the bedroom since it seems like that's the extent of a lot of people's views about how gay men live their lives.
What's more important -- what's under Laverne Cox's dress or the efforts she's doing to tell the story of CeCe McDonald?
I realize that gay rights and the knowledge of gay people's lives is farther ahead than the discussion of trans rights and trans people's rights, but at some point, we have to move past Trans 101. The teaching moments can only happen if people actually learn.
Mock's tweets actually could have been a teachable moment, had Morgan actually listened instead of insisting he was right.
Therein lies another problem with Aravosis' piece, he leaves it at the first interview and the reaction of Mock and other trans folk.
He glosses over Morgan firing back at Mock, at his calling trans folk who questioned him "STUPID" (all caps) and "dimwits" and he doesn't even talk about the follow-up interview.
The piece was posted at 3:48 p.m. Thursday, the day after Mock's second appearance.
Aravosis seemed to excuse Morgan's response on Twitter, telling another user, "In all seriousness, what happens is that you have like 200 people be dicks to you, then when you finally get dicky in response..everyone only sees that one tweet of yours, and says, man you're being a dick."
He also said, "He just did the biggest softball interview in history, and got blasted for it, so I'm not surprised that he responded a bit annoyed."
Judging by Aravosis' written words in the piece, Mock was an eviscerator while Morgan was besieged and his response was unsurprising because...


In other words, Morgan didn't need to paint himself the victim, Aravosis is doing it for him.
The piece doesn't bother to examine that trans-free panel discussion in which three non-trans people, included a man on record calling a trans rights bill sick and proper care of trans children "child abuse" having a loud voice.
In the end, the article reads as one long bit of tone policing. Aravosis says most of America doesn't know about trans people (he's right) and that he doesn't know everything (right again).
But that doesn't stop him from telling the people he doesn't know about fully how to act, even though he doesn't understand their lives, their truths. He's content to call Morgan a "staunch ally" (talk about throwing a softball) and say those who dare criticize him are "ripping (Morgan's) head off."
Another Twitter user asked Aravosis about it. He responded.
Well, forgive me, but it doesn't strike me as particularly "pro-trans" to completely mischaracterize how Mock and Morgan acted and to not write about the story as a whole, ignoring the second night altogether.
Aravosis might have moved forward and learned about trans people since 2007, but he has farther to go. A lot farther.
I hope I wasn't too "eviscerating" in saying that.

La, La, La Means I'm Not Listening To You

By Kara Tucker

It have been should be a shining moment for the community, shining a light on the lives of trans people, of trans women, of trans women of color -- not as stereotypes, punchlines, tropes, but as fully realized human beings.
Janet Mock, is an author, speaker and trans activist.  She has written a book, "Redefining Realness,"  which came out Tuesday that talks about her life to this point.
Mock was booked for an appearance to talk about the book, a standard promotional appearance that was hardly standard. Trans women don't get such bookings regularly, trans women of color, even less.
To do the interview requires someone who does not possess intelligence, but sensitivity and a desire to learn, not pruriently, but as a decent human being. It requires someone who views a woman like Mock as a woman, not a concept or curiosity.
That's the interviewer a story like this requires. Instead, Mock got former U.K. tabloid journalist Piers Morgan.
Well, you can take the man out of the tabloid, but you can't take the tabloid out of the man.

Morgan interviewed Mock five days prior to it airing on February 4, after the plans to have her appear live were changed by news events that week.
The interview made Morgan look like a man who had not read the book. It made it look like whoever was supposed to read it for him and supply question points hadn't read the book.
Morgan's interviewing betrayed a level of understanding of trans issues that seemed decades out of date.
He seemed to have the notion of her being a boy or a man, when Mock has made it clear that she was not. That she was assigned male at birth, something she had no control over.
Morgan betrayed an ignorance of the process of transition, referring to Mock "living as a boy" until she went to "Thailand for the surgery."
Mock pointed out that it was an ongoing journey over many years, with her true self emerging from a very young age.
Morgan tried to be, in his view, complimentary. He said, "This is the amazing thing about you- had I not known anything about your story, I would have had absolutely not a clue that you had ever been a boy, a male, which makes me absolutely believe you should always have been a woman.”
This was not a compliment, any more than it would have been if he'd said, "You know. When I heard you speak, before I saw you and knew your story, I would have never known you were black. You're so well-spoken."
It was not complimentary to Mock like he thought and it was downright insulting to trans women overall. The implication is that, if you're passable, you are truly trans.
Passability varies and is relative. It is something that can often require a lot of work, even additional surgeries, to achieve. It can come down to luck. It also doesn't have a damn thing to do with whether a person is actually trans.
I'm no fashion model, but I realize that the level of passability I do have is due to genetic luck. I have exactly the same facial features as my mother. If I had the same (and much less feminine) facial features as my father, would that make me any less trans? No.
Being trans is who we are, not how we look.

He used Mock's former name more than once as well, furthering the assertion that she was "male" before. He asked about telling her boyfriend, Aaron, about her trans history. That could have led to at least a mention of the larger issue of how men are often shamed for their attraction to trans women, a shaming that can lead to violence against a trans women.
Instead it felt more like it was forcing the "used to be a dude" narrative.
Trans people face disproportionate risk of violence of suicide than the general population. Trans women of color are even more at disproportionate risk of violence at the hands of others. Discrimination on housing and and employment are very real issues.
Two segments is not enough time to touch on those issues in depth, but to not mention them at all was a disappointment.
The interview felt like something that could have been seen on "Donahue" in 1982, with less sensitivity and depth.

There were moments where you could see that Mock appeared to be less than 100 percent pleased than the interview, but she kept focused and maintained the higher ground.
Mock was less pleased on seeing how the interview was presented. The most egregious part was the fact that someone in the production room insisted on slapping this graphic onscreen for the entire length of the interview.

That's right, although, Morgan was quick to compliment Mock her fitting his version of womanhood appearance-wise, the graphic stayed on screen to undercut the message that she is a woman. She was misgendered the whole time.
All in all, the interview showed that Morgan and the producers possessed a certain level of ignorance. That's unfortunate, but it's something that could be a teaching moment.
That graphic prompted the first of three tweets from Mock once the interview aired Tuesday night.
It read, ""Was a boy until 18." @PiersMorganLive get it the f*k together. #redefiningrealness"
A second followed, saying, "@PiersMorganLive I was not "formerly a man." Pls stop sensationalizing my life and misgendering trans women. #redefiningrealness"
One more tweet came a short time later, this time with a picture of Janet Mock and Laverne Cox from "Orange is the New Black."

Morgan, who's engaged in feuds with celebrities before, most notably Madonna, did not take kindly to Mock's criticism.
His attitude was one of, "I put you on my show! You should be grateful!" He misgendered her again and took to criticizing people who brought up the problematic issues in the interview. He accused Mock of falsely fueling a sense of him being transphobic when, it fact, it was the interview as a whole that led that sense. He accused her of treating him in "a disgraceful manner" and that he was "played in a disgustingly cynical manner."
Pot, meet kettle.
Of course, Morgan didn't acknowledge that, by tweeting his opinion, others would feel free to express blatant 100 percent transphobic opinions in support of him.
For example...

Of course, rather than listen to why Mock, or a lot of other trans folks were displeased, he immediately painted himself as the aggrieved party.
Morgan tweeted, "As for all the enraged transgender supporters, look at how STUPID you're being. I'm on your side, you dimwits."
Yes, nothing says "being a good ally" like failing to listen to the person and then insulting those who point that out.

Wednesday, it was announced that Mock would appear on Morgan's show to discuss the controversy and the issues raised.
During the day, however, Morgan showed that sleeping on it didn't change his mind any.
In fact, most notable, was this tweet -- "I fear I am now a victim of 'cisphobia'."
Morgan was clearly moving from simply ignorant into willfully ignorant.

The host was not, and is not, a victim in anyway. "Cisphobia" is not a thing. Trans people didn't suddenly gain power overnight. No one has been forced to salute your new trans overlords.
Yes, Piers Morgan, you, are a victim of "cisphobia." It must have been so difficult to lose your job and home because you're cis. It's awful that you were the victim of violent crime because you're cis. It's a shame that you lost your friends and family once they found out you were cis.
It was a faulty tweet, but one that clearly played into the narrative Morgan was going to push on Mock's return appearance. In his mind, HE was the wronged one, tweeting, "I agree there should be an apology made re my interview with @janetmock - and I expect her to make it to me on air tonight."
Sure enough, Morgan asserted that he was "targeted for vicious abuse." Piers Morgan is The Victim, ladies and gentleman.
The host missed the disconnect between saying that he was a big boy, he can handle it and spending a good 15 minutes or so of the show on the topic because he couldn't handle it.
Morgan also blamed Mock for the negative response he'd seen, because in his mind, three tweets was "egging on."
I hate to break it to Mr. Morgan, who's probably now enrolling himself in a support group for victimized talk show hosts, but people are capable of watching the segment and making up their own minds. We are not some hivemind waiting for Janet Mock's direction.
I'm not Janet Mock and I wanted to throw something at my television because of the constant presence of the "Was a boy" graphic onscreen.
Morgan also seemed obsessed with a piece in Marie Claire, written in May 2011, in which Mock came out publicly. The headline, which she didn't write, read "I was born a boy" and in a couple of instances, Mock made reference to that.
She also has written since, on more than once occasion, that the "was a boy" references in the initial piece were not an accurate reflection of her journey. In fact, all Morgan and/or the show staffer had to do was read Mock's introduction to her book, where she talks about it.
Or, put another way, as she responded when Morgan asked who she was born as -- "I was born a baby."

In addition to painting himself as the victim, the host seemed perplexed that he was being questioned at all on trans issues. He said he still supported Mock and trans rights, although he mentioned trans rights AFTER he mentioned gay rights and gay marriage rights. He seems to be very proud of his support of gay rights.
Morgan has supported marriage equality, vociferously at times. That is true. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have more to learn and it doesn't automatically make him, as one person who he retweeted Wednesday night called him -- "Piers is the Greatest advocate we LGBT community have."

Mock explained why she didn't say something to Morgan during or after the first interview. Aside from not seeing the constant "was a boy" graphic, she said she was scared and that she "wanted to be a cordial guest."
Morgan seemed unwilling to address his privilege, aside from one acknowledgement that he had been fortunate in his own life. He took what should have been a story about more important issues and made it all about him.
The sad part is that he is not unintelligent. He is capable of being a good ally and he does have the platform to do so.
But what he lost is the idea that being an ally does not automatically mean he is not above criticism, that being an ally requires listening and, let's face it, getting out of the way so that those you're an ally of can tell their stories.
Towards the end of the interview, things took an unfortunate turn when Morgan decided to lecture Mock a little, saying, "let me give you some advice."
She immediately responded, "I don't need advice. I don't need advice."
That didn't stop the host, who told Mock that the next time she was on a show like that and she was dissatisfied to speak up immediately after.
So, there you have it. The potential teaching moment ended with a wealthy, white cis man lecturing a trans woman of color how to behave like a proper talk show guest.

That could have been all, except Morgan decided to continue talking about the story with Mock no longer present. After all, it's easier to discuss a trans woman's feelings and actions when she's not on the set. In fact, when there are no trans people on set.
The three panelists were all cis. Amy Holmes, anchor for the Blaze Hot List, political commentator Marc Lamont Hill and conservative host Ben Ferguson.
Of the four, only Hill seemed to get it, pointing out that trans identity doesn't rely on surgery. He also pointed out how Morgan's defensive stance made him sound, saying his protestations sounded like “when white people point to the number of black friends they have."
Holmes said that Mock shouldn't have been upset because being trans itself is sensationalistic, thus negating any other aspect of Mock's life. She, bizarrely, added, there were "plenty of black women in the building who'd be glad to be on (Morgan's) show."
Was Holmes implying that somehow Mock didn't know her place? Was she implying that other African-American women wouldn't be offended if Morgan had acted in similar fashion to them?
Holmes was nothing compared to Ferguson, who has established his transphobia, calling treating trans children as who they are, with respect and dignity, "child abuse."
Wednesday, Ferguson did his level best to dehumanize Mock, basically yelling a variation of "She was a man! Doctors agree! Science! Boy! Boy! Boy!" to deny her identity. He called Mock's response "fake outrage."
For the most part, he shouted down the others and his views were unchallenged.

Viewers were left wondering why there was no trans person at all on the panel and why, after claiming how supportive he was of Mock, Morgan let Ferguson spew his fact-free (hint: doctors and science as a whole do NOT agree with the him, not anywhere close) views without countering them.
It was hard to escape the belief that Piers "I support gay rights! I'm a good ally" Morgan had sandbagged Mock.
That's a shame because, even as uncomfortable as it could be to watch, Mock held her own. In the right show setting, she could have gotten more points.
In fact, she already had, on the Melissa Harris-Perry show the previous weekend.


But instead, Janet Mock became just another part in the declining journalistic fortunes of CNN. There's John King's "brown-skinned man" report, there were Upworthy-style teasers for stories about rape and murder, the misgendering of Chelsea Manning (complete with a panelist's joke about Manning being raped in prison) or the fact that somebody at the network thought this was an actual topic to debate during the George Zimmerman trial.

Hint: It's the one you can't use in your graphic, CNN.
As much as this story should have been about "Redefining Realness," it instead showed more about the ongoing Redefinition of CNN.
That's a shame, but Mock is undeterred. A lot of other folks are undeterred. More stories out there will be told. More voices will be heard. People will hear more and more of the full spectrum of who trans people are like, that they are more than their genitals or the name they used to have.
Even if two days' worth of appearances of Piers Morgan's show represent somewhat of a missed opportunity, it will not be the only opportunity.  One only hopes it's soon.
And one can only hope that the next opportunity has a host better equipped for the task.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Unconditional Love


A lot of emotions and thoughts running through my head today. There’s no real way to make sense of them.
My mother’s been gone for 15 years already.
If she had any inkling of who I really was, she kept it to herself.
There was a point, over 20 years where she asked me if I was gay. I denied it. She never asked about the real issue, not that I’d have said it. I couldn’t even admit I was a woman to myself then.
There was a distance between us in the later years, even though we lived in the same town and we talked and saw each other. Religion is a wonderful thing, but for a mother and her then son, it became a wall neither side could get through or over. It was pretty much that way for her and most people.
Faith is one thing. Faith that renders it almost impossible to have a normal conversation is another.

“This weather today is quite lovely, don’t you think?”
“Jesus didn’t think he was lovely when…”

It’s a real reminder when the woman you’re becoming so much resembles the woman who gave birth to you, who raised you for so much of your young life before things changed. Look in the mirror, see yourself while hoping not to see “him.” Then, as you emerge and “he” disappears, you see her. You see not just that woman you know loved you, but the woman who very well would have rejected you.
I hate thinking that, but it’s very, difficult not to.
It’s hard thinking that a woman who couldn’t talk to you without mentioning Jesus, God, the Rapture, etc. would react in any other way but Bible-quoting hate, threats of conversion therapy, rejection, hate and disownment.
But at the same time, it’s hard not to think that, at some point, it would have knocked down those walls. That those maternal instincts would have kicked in. The woman who was always there for the precocious kid, who gave that kid bowl cuts, who worked graveyard shift when the father wasn’t part of the picture. She would have seen the pain in her daughter’s face and done the right thing – loved unconditionally.
I’m torn between guilt for feeling that she wouldn’t have accepted me and sick for knowing that I might be right. Above all, though, is sadness that I’ll never find out.
I can still see mom’s husband’s face, all through the funeral. All he could say for the longest time was drawing out the syllables of her name and no. “Bran….Dy….No….Bran…Dy…..No.” Over and over.  I can still hear it in my head 16 years later.
I could handle, on some level, losing her. We knew it was coming. We’d feared it ever since we knew the local doctors hadn’t caught the initial cancer and it had spread. I’d bawled my eyes out on my bed at some point in between her passing and the funeral.  I was at a functional level, but it was so wrenching to see him like that.
After two failed marriages (the first a bad fit, the second to an abusive piece of human excrement), she’d finally found the right guy for her.
They deserved to grow old together, but that didn’t happen. He lost his true love. The rest of us lost that chance to break down those walls
And yet, I feel lucky. Some people don’t even get the years with their mom that I did.  Some mothers are outright abusive.
I know people whose mothers were fine until they found out their child was trans, which led to hate, cruelty and ways to inflict pain from misgendering to siding with someone else against them and more.
There are also people in the community who don’t get the chance to be maternal figures because a former spouse or partner uses their trans status against them, turning their kids against them or denying them their right to be parents.
I’m also not the only one missing a departed mother…or a departed grandmother, for that matter. I really didn’t get to know my dad’s mother because of the walls between he and I that didn’t come down until after she’d passed.  I never got to know Grandma Betty as an adult, really, let alone get to know her as the real me.
The world’s a lesser place for the departure of a lot of these women, all of your maternal figures who are here no longer.
Of course, some of you have enjoyed mother’s day with your mothers, as a mother or both. That’s good. I hope the day was full of nothing but good things for you.
All of this swirls in my head today.  Thoughts moving from gentle churn to centrifuge speed to anywhere in between.
Right now, all it comes down to is that, somewhere back in time, somewhere in Texas or Colorado, there’s a young girl who wished she could let her mother know she existed, who wanted her mother to give her a hug and let her know she’d be okay.  And at this moment, in apartment in New York City, there is a woman who wants the same thing. Consequences be damned, that’s all she wanted.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Hello I Love You


One of the things that I discovered on this journey is that well before I reached the point of physical changes in being out in public on a regular basis is that, just by being trans, that  you will be a target for come-on artists and/or would be cons hoping to get their hands on some of my cash.
For some reason, some men (often, but not always, Middle Eastern) find trans women attractive. One could hazard a guess as to why -- that we are some sort of forbidden fruit, being both Western and trans. Of course, the likelihood of a relationship isn't there, so the pitches are often attempts to get to the point.
They want to cyber. They want to see your naughty bits. They want to pretend they're doing stuff to yours. Some want to explore their own place on the gender spectrum...in the most cyberish and sleazy way possible.
Another form of attention is not specific to trans women. It's the con. Someone claims to have seen your profile and that you're lovelier than any woman they've ever seen. And, oh, they're often a widower, too.
Of course, it's all an effort to get you to lower your defenses so they can can you out of money.
The thing is that they tend to make it obvious. Many read like the cut-and-paste basic con pitch they are. Others are attempts to do so, but written by someone who clearly does not speak English as their first language.
Yet, the latter will think that we think they're American. I remember a particularly awkward pitch from someone with a Caucasian profile picture and an Anglo name -- Tom Young. Nice try, but access denied.
There's no denying an inherently insulting belief in many of the sleazy attempts to be amorous, a belief underpinned by sadness.
So many of these men clearly want a gay experience, given what they expect us to "do" to them in cyberland. They don't live in cultures where it's acceptable to be gay, so they can have that with a woman...and not actually have physical contact, let alone a relationship. A very sterile, cold getting their rocks off and sublimating of their real life desires.
This is NOT to say that a man in an actual relationship with a trans woman is gay. That's not the case.
But I'm talking about men who make (generally) false assumptions about what we, as trans women, are into.
But, that doesn't stop them from making their pitches or the cons from assuming that we'll be so desperate for male attention that we'll send them money.
Luckily, these two forms of individual tend to give themselves away, often to clumsy effect.
With that in mind, I present some of the pitches I've received from these types -- either overly amorous seekers of cyber and/or my money. A few are ones received by friends that were worthy of mockery.
My comments for each are included parenthetically, and needless to say, but in all instances, access was denied.
Let's dig in, shall we?

"i lyk old women. cn u ad me?" (How Not to Woo 101)

"hello baby" (goodbye man with comically undersized batch area)

"may i ask u something??? " (I would think that's something you'd want to see your personal physician about)

"hello sexy wommen nice to meet u" (Too much ouzo, he's seeing double)

"i paenis see you plase yahoo adress" (Is this a come-on or military code? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot)

"u like cok" (Again with the poultry)

"hello! How are you? Looked yours profile! To want gets acquainted with you! I to search the partner for creation serious relations, family! If I have interested you write to me  email:annoyingchaser@yahoo.com " (Think me let, chance you  no hell, creation serious relations, yourself!)

Hello babe are you here in nigera or where are you”  (I’m clearly not in Nigeria because you would be doubled over in pain right now)


if you can pay for my ticket i will like to be wet you for ever” (Ahh…the old ‘money for wetness’ way to a girl’s heart.)


"Been watching TS and crossdresser porn I am so horny now got my favorite vibrator in the ol cornhole riding it like crazy wish someone was here to help me!" (That was a wise purchase, because you won’t get an actual human near there)

"hai dear your so tempting me..why u r so beauty..aafter seeing your pics,am so tempting.am try 2 pump my cock..but am not wear inner ware.that why am did that dirty thing..you amzing beauty..i likeu very much dear.." (Here’s the tweezers so you can get on that pumping. By the way, thanks for reminding me. I need to find a shop that sells stylish inner wear for women.).

slm naber cnm bnm (hm wt u mn not srnm wtnm thnm fcnm unm mnnm)

Hello...you re looking so cute and wonderful,i will like to have a friendship with you. (Oh great, I'm getting hit on by the Turkish Mr. Rogers)


"if i meet u i will be 200% hot" (I applaud your enthusiasm, but not your math skills. Or you have a body temperature of 197.2 degrees. So I would either be meeting an idiot or the Human Torch. Either way, I would experience a burning sensation).

"me>u cuz im in colleg" (I'm sure your parents are very glad you made it into Columbia).

hey ! sara how are you? i just want from you to find me a girl friend and make with us some of sex and love plz find me one mwaaaaaah (Oh, dear, I do declare. You got my name wrong and hit me up for a threesome with your opening line. I do believe I have the vapors).

I admire your beauty and Bnzertk beautiful and I hope that sent by me a friend request because I am banned and I am grateful to"  (I'm not sure if Bnzertk refers to part of my body or one of the former Soviet states.)

am I goin to fuk u from ur asss. suk mi long penniss hell (So many elements here. The question manages to be creepy and physically impossible.  The ensuing demand is more nonsensical than creepy. I have no idea what "penniss hell" is, although I think there is a Penniss Hall at a college around here somewhere. So he might be confused).

Hi? (Innocuous enough until closer inspection reveals his profile picture is not the world’s smallest asparagus)

iam bobly porson like jok,laugh,i like traveling.raeding,dancing,...... (You may want to see a doctor about that bobliness. No jok)

"How beautiful you are very beautiful. I am Karim from Algeria. I want to marry you. I'm all alone. I want my wife and the exchange of sex together truthful ... When I saw your picture stood my penis. I love beauty. I want my wife and myself I am serious in my words.” (I do not want Karim. I wish him sex alone truthful. When I read your pitch, nothing my felt. I am serious in my words).

·     “You are a beautiful girl and you look and feel of Cor-like appearance of scientists and politicians as the slim and sexyactresses such as The film stars and is capable of excitement, such as stars Albernoare you? I want to get to know each And move closer to hell You will find warmth or burning it does not matter I will be happy with the fire” (You might want to see a urologist about that warmth and burning)


“I want to meet you. Is this possible? “ (Let me look at your page. You list “lickin’ pussy” as a favorite activity? I’ll pass on meeting you, Mr. Random Sleazy Foreign Guy).

Suck u bb (no, ashl)

“My dinkle just shot cum mmmm" (Sorry, I’m laughing too hard that you called it ‘dinkle’)

Hello dearie i was just browsing through comments of on Facebook and i got so attracted to your profile picture.i want to know more about you and what it could cost me to make you be mine forever. Your beauty is such that it's claws will make any man go whiskey on setting eyes on you.  (For the love of all that's holy, some country singer has got to write a song called "Make a Man Go Whiskey.")

Hello,

Hello,  (Yes? Yes? Goodbye)

I was touched by your profile picture,You look simple and elegant and i must confess,You are a pretty lady,I had to summon the courage to write you,I am a widower and i have a daughter(8 years old) living with me,I would like to know more about the pretty and charming lady (Hello, nice "man" who didn't write something that sounded like a form pitch and who signed the note with his names reversed from his profile name).

hiiiiiii (You know, there’s nothing I love more than a man not afraid to show off his deep vocabulary).


slm ahmed bakan bakan_3535353535@hotmail.com (spamnothankyou@patheticlosertranschaser.com)

its god that can make people happy (Dear God,  what are your feelings on people who include pictures of their junk with this message?)
u mind if i stuck my tounge in ur ass hole and lick it so deep (Evidently, I got a private message intended for his mother by mistake)

Kara T.,How u doing,how is ur day going,N how is everybody around u?am a cool guy who luv meeting good people like u.i saw ur pretty face N profile on Facebook wall,u av a wounderful comment on ur Fb wall.i just want 2 tell u dat i luv it N it made me 2 luv d kind of person u are.Great impression can be made from a distance but reality can only be tested up closely.We all came into dis world without knowing Nobody,but we just giv people a trial 2 see if they're worth keeping as frends or not.With a sincere heart N harmless i wud luv 2 b ur frend.
(Let me go to Google Translate to speak this language…”U may b kewl gy, but u txt lyk tween girl. U made bad impression to dis girl hoo saw thru ur scam. No frend. Keep txt lyk tween girl, u mite get Bieber tix, lu zr”)
OHH MY GOD !!! This is amazing you look cute just like an Angel, i don't believe that their is some cute as you on the earth not until i see your picture of your profile....i will love to know more about you if you don't mind, you are a kind of woman that need to be cared for not to suffer, i don't know if you can give me a chance to prove myself.....Hope to read from you soon. Regards.  (just a little hint. You laid it on just a liiiiiiiitle too thick).

I saw your pics on the friends you may know, your last name look familiar, have you live close to Cascade Locks, Oregon before? also you have a nice pics on your profile, can you tell me a bit about your self?

Am Michael (Yes, I literally put my pictures on my friends. Oh, and nice touch with the ‘am Michael’ when your profile name says ‘Mik’)

Hello,it's my pleasure to write to you. your profile caught up my eyes. i must confess you are so pretty and cute.you look more like an angel.I am a single father who seek a serious relationship for marriage.i would like to have a word with you if you don't mind,I want you to write me and tell me more about yourself...thanks. (Another single dad con. Luckily, I only caught up his eyes. Heaven forbid I make him go whiskey, too)

u tow so dam sexxxxxxxxxy (I guess they greenlit that Borat sequel).

Hello Dear, should i say you are a woman of substance or better still a God sent from above may be you might call it flattering i Am Marvin by name and have come to realize that true love can only come when you don't look for it,but that doesn't mean you should not say hello to a beautiful lady when you see one...Am not flattering you this just a way to say you look good,i just saw your profile and felt complimenting is not a bad idea... I am an Engineer, Am a single dad, and i have being praying a new love to come by, am telling you all this because but i don't know why, may be i Just want to be open minded with you, am not getting any younger and my dream is to have a good family and i know am pursuing serendipity because i believe in miracles cos God is up there watching us. (I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s not an engineer, or single dad or Marvin. And it’s a sad day when we resort as a human race to impersonating Marvins).

hole kara (I have no idea how to take that)

hy how r u (The first name of this guy’s profile was “Unlucky.” Seriously).

Hello Kara,
How are You doing today?How is your family?I Hope everyone are doing great,I got your profile interested and thought it's necessary for me to express myself this way..Am Whiteman Philip;Am a single dad seeking for a God fearing woman to be with and spend my time with always (His profile name was something else, but he feels the need to reassure me he is Whiteman)

Help me break this spell that I'm under, guide my feet and hold me tight. I need 10,000 angels watching over me tonight , One need not look towards the heavens to find an angel for I've one here before me, If I ever saw an angel, it was in your eyes. I'll sweep you off your feet, and make God know he left an angel behind, you know what ? Heaven's lost without you (Wow. Apparently this guy decided to rip off Bieber lyrics for his pitch).

hello Transsexual am a male who like Transsexual i will like to be your man you like what you see and want me as your man reply me back
(That’s not dehumanizing at all. I’m sure if you were a non cyber and/or con sleaze, you wouldn’t like it if I addressed you with “hello black man”)

are very good wishes to spend an evening with you the whole night only wanted to fuck (Good to know I’m reaching employees at Hallmark Cards)

hi my friend just i want to tell you realy u are soo beautiful kisss (Really, don’t drink and type).

U like cok (And here we are, finishing as we began, with a man obsessed with poultry.)

Until next time....

xx
Kara


Saturday, February 9, 2013

Empire State of Mind


Rather than post again on the old blog, I decided to start a new one.
A lot has happened in the last couple years.
The biggies -- I'm living pretty much authentically now. I've been on HRT since May.
I was pretty much a Girl Undercover for a few months, before I was able to move to New York.
My friend Debbie, who I now share a place with, flew out and I drove us back.
I had both my clothes and "his" clothes for the trip, unsure how I'd present. Bear in mind I basically was my true self within the walls of my former abode, but not really outside interacting with the public.
Some day, I'll talk about the extended road trip/move more, but for now, I'll say that the male clothes stayed packed away for the whole trip and every day since.
I've never felt more natural in my life. A lot of work remains to be done, but I have hope for the future.
It feels great to have finally taken that leap.

xx
Kara