Monday, September 5, 2016

From the Archives-- June, 2011

Note: This was a letter never sent to my first stepfather (not the good one who came later)

Like a lot of us, I had a lot of bullying, teasing and general outcast creation growing up. But it's really hit me how much one bully has affected my life. This bully wasn't found in the schoolyard or in an adjacent locker, but in the home. Because this bully was someone my mother married some years after she and Dad broke up. My time under the same roof was fairly short. Thankfully, she sent me to life with my father after an incident in which said bully ratcheted up the violence quotient. It was a move that possibly saved my life.

Dear Mr. X --
It's been a long time and I'm sure you don't remember me.
But you have no idea how much you set me back in such a short period of time. I'm only now getting to the roots to untangle the damage.
And you never will have an idea, because you'll never hear from me.

But I'll say this anyway -- I WILL walk like that. I WILL talk like that. I WILL hold my hands like that. I WILL be that. Even though you were so blind you thought "that" was something else.

You know why? I deserve to exist. I deserve the opportunity to be truly happy. I can't get back the years your actions helped steal from me, but I can make sure you don't do anymore.
Your influence is gone. I cut the last tendril and walk away.

As I leave, I pray that I was the only child you damaged, that you didn't do this when you created ones of your own.

And I leave with a smile, knowing that my mother found the right man after leaving. She finally found the perfect love for her life, unlike you, he possessed a caring, loving heart and no desire to use a child as a belt workout bag.
Mom was better off without you.
I guess that makes two women who are better off without you.


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